Have you ever had the opportunity of being in absolute silence? It's funny because when you are in absolute silence your mind starts listening to small sounds like the motor of your computer or the leak of a faucet or a fan; you can even hear your heartbeat if you really concentrate.
I have the opportunity of experimenting the blessing of silence and when you are able to reach this point in your life, only then; will you know who you really are. In my past years, I was terrified of being alone with myself. I could not sleep with the light off and when I would have quiet time the thoughts that crossed my mind were like a horse race. My thoughts were my worst enemy.
What I realized was that I was hurting and very sad. When you are sad or hurting
studies show that your brain registers the emotional pain of heartbreak in the same way as physical pain, which is why you might feel like your heartbreak is causing actual physical hurt. Aug 1, 2017
My heart was broken, I was broken, I had no idea what it was to love me as a person. I started reading after my memory loss that researchers had confirmed in recent years what people long suspected: Extreme stress can literally break your heart. Although rare, it can happen when people or pets die, during stressful medical treatments, after a job loss, or when other overwhelming stresses occur.
Being intubated 19 times, losing my memory, my physical body changing, losing my hair, having a chest port, and having to learn many things all over again, brought me to a place of sadness.
It's funny how people's words if taken; can cause breaking and heartache, but I learned that hurt people, hurt people and that words are just words. Everyone is entitled to say what they want, but you have to place limits with love and not allow for words to affect you because it is their words and their opinion, and seeing that its and opinion you have the power to accept it and receive it or you have the power to disregard it because you are so secure of yourself that you have the power to delete those words from your brain, breath, and disregard all thoughts and don't let those words affect you. (This is not an easy task!)
But it can be done! When I'm In silence and there are no cars, no noise just me with myself, I chuckle and let my mind wander and dream. I feel at peace and I've worked really hard in order to reach that. One of the first things you have to do is forgive.
Don't think I don't struggle with things because whoever knows me knows that I have many areas in which I am still in the process of learning and evolving, but that's the beauty of life. It's being able to wake up and having that opportunity to work on yourself and be kind, loving, and caring to yourself, before working on others. Remember; The FIRST person we have to forgive is ourselves.
Take time for yourself. Sit in your car if you have to and close your eyes while parked somewhere, go to a pond or learn to say no when being invited to someplace and enjoy being in your home alone and shut everything off for a while, and learn to listen to yourself:
who are you?
how do you talk to yourself?
have you forgiven yourself?
do you comply with the goals and expectations that you have of yourself?
do you love yourself?
Can you love the silence that surrounds you?
These are some of the many questions that one should ask themselves when you are silent and all around you is at peace.
In silence, I have laughed, cried, missed, and loved, but all of these emotions make me who and how I am and I would not want to change my essence. I invite you to take some alone time and learn to know who and how you are.
Learning to know who we are gives us the opportunity to evolve, be better to ourselves and change.
Once our inner self is changed and healed...
Only then can we provide peace, love, harmony, laughter and contentment to others.