Updated: Aug 25
Never let a situation define your future. The future is in God's, earth and in your hands.
It is the feeling of stepping on hearing the grinding of your bones. It is penetrating medicine and feeling like you lose your sanity. It is taking a breath, and finding yourself starving between your thoughts; By understanding that the Air is constricted …, And again you understand that the tread of a broken snarl is more bearable than the shipwreck of a heart.
Shipwreck is a poem that I wrote on Dec 2, 2019, when I was undergoing intubation number 19 and had lost most of my mobility in my left arm.
I had just suffered a hemiplegic migraine attack. When I suffered that, I remember that I was alone when I suffered an attack. All I can remember is that I had a horrible migraine headache, and all of a sudden, I couldn’t move.
I remember that once I was hospitalized, my children and their friends went to see me at the hospital; I was there for a long time, but I am so thankful that they made sure that I laughed and had some company at times.
I’m writing about this because after going to the neurologist’s office, I remember him saying to me, “Mitzy, you should be happy with the mobility you have because that’s the most you will be able to move your arm.
At that moment in time, I remember that to take a shower, I had to put my shoulder and lean my arm/elbow against the bathroom wall to wash, and it was a humongous struggle to dress and do what is considered normal activity. Why am I writing this? Because people tend to misunderstand mental illness from excruciating medical circumstances.
I have always believed a lot in mental power, and thank God today 2 years later; we can see that no one who sees me and does not know me would ever think that I have partial paralysis in that shoulder. Today I received great news…
I woke up with excruciating pain, and I had no option other than to go to the hospital. Knowing that this will take a long time to recuperate allows me to be thankful and see everything positively. With time, rest, and taking care of me, all will be better.
We are all going thru something. I want to reach out to all those people that wake up and go to sleep with pain. Some that have to take medicine and others like myself that learn to live with it. To you; Don’t you dare give up.
Don’t you care what anyone says? You can achieve whatever you set your mind to do. I am living proof that anything is possible!
Just like these light fixtures that were done with scraps of wood, and they look beautiful and unique…we can continue being beautiful even under the circumstances of being sick.
Let the water of life (as a metaphor in my words as an example consists of your surroundings such as the air that we breathe, the smile of a child, the waking up alive and well, or the mere fact that we are breathing; let that be enough to give you strength and courage to continue going no matter what is said to you or about you.
Don’t let your emotions build into a puddle of water that might stay in your head or heart and possibly turn into something ugly like hate, resentment, anger, lies, etc.
Learn to cry your feelings, talk to someone, pray, meditate, sing, draw or do anything that clears your mind and soul.
You will see how your soul, heart, mind, and body will clear from all those emotional toxins, and you will see the next day one of the best days of your life; all you have to do is set your mind to do what you want it to do.